"His back is fine, his head is clear and his aspirations are sky-high.
Chandler is thinking something on the order of 15-plus points, 12
boards and two blocks a night" (p.72).

On one night? No problem!

My favorite bit is Chandler "putting his money where his mouth is" by
not making any shoe endorsements until he becomes the True Tyson
Chandler. That's laying it on the line, man.

Oh, and all his coaches/teammates who remember him remember him from
high school. Its like he never played NBA at all!

....wait for it...

In article <1159638750.442696.19240@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.c om>,
"Artis Gripemore" <wealtheow1@yahoo.com> wrote:



How about the stomach/ulcer/acid reflux/hernia/sleepiness?




You know, once Jon, I think it was, introduced us to the Box of Wonder
that was tysonchandler.com, I have a newfound appreciation for him. It
was helped when I heard him say "Doesn't matter where I'm playing next
season, I'll be in the All-Star game" right before we traded him.

That is an appreciation for the fact of how detached from reality he is.
Fifteen-PLUS points for a guy that can't catch? Eh, sure, why not... I
wish him the best of luck but how New Orleans traded Magliore at a damn
good salary for nothing much and acquired Tyson at his, I'll just never
figure out.

Granville Waiters' Ghost wrote:

As you once said, Tyson's probably got one successful season in him,
but who knows when it's coming. It's a Bernoulli process with a small
but nonzero p.

There's a bit of Tim Thomas in Chandler. They both received big
contracts because of their potential, but have interpreted this as
evidence of their achievement. It's gonna take a huge slap in the face
for Chandler to realize that he is, in fact, a lazy underachiever.
Sending him home to LA probably won't do the trick; he's a
hypochondriac on top of his other problems and will just invent an
ailment to rehabilitate (and it will be neither "cowardly lion" nor
"brainless scarecrow" syndrome). I see him playing out his contract,
getting Bonzi-ed, and, after seeing a paycheck with one less zero than
he's accustomed to, playing hard for one year, until some fool GM
validates him with another big contract.

I'm so glad he's gone. I hope his ex-teammates due to him this season
what Pippen and Jordan did to Kukoc during the 1992 Olympics.

In article <1159646397.834644.242040@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups. com>,
"sv0f" <sashankvarma@yahoo.com> wrote:



Damn you, damn you Sashank, damn you... Don't make me go collateral
estoppel on yo ass.




The hypochondriac part is often overlooked. How old is Tyson now? I'd be
surprised if these issues (hernia/acid reflux/back/etc) are going to get
better with age, granted that they're real.

It annoys me that he could have been the savior of the team with the
Eddy situation on the eve of training camp, but now he has "something to
prove". It's undeniable that he was a defensive presence late in games
two years ago, but also that he even then took himself out of a lot of
games (outside of the kick during the playoffs... Remember when I
worried that all of his chest-thumping and shit was going to get him a
rep from the refs? Guess what, it did.)




The irony is that, remember in the preseason, Tyson had a monster game
vs. the Pistons and we all thought it was a sign of the great things to
come. The regular season often involved Wallace sitting down early since
the first two games were Detroit blowouts. The thing that is amazing
here is that four games vs. the Bulls, Wallace had a total of FOUR fouls
-- which Tyson almost averaged per game.

12/03/05
Detroit 92
Chicago 79
Wallace Chandler
Minutes 25 25
Points 2 3
FG/A 1/3 1/2
O/Reb 1/5 1/6
TO 3 2
BLK 1 0
STL 1 0
PF 1 4

12/16/05
Detroit 110
Chicago 82
Wallace Chandler
Minutes 29 28
Points 6 4
FG/A 3/7 2/6
O/Reb 5/13 4/8
TO 1 2
BLK 2 0
STL 2 0
PF 1 3

02/24/06
Detroit 95
Chicago 87
Wallace Chandler
Minutes 42 27
Points 10 6
FG/A 4/6 3/4
O/Reb 4/9 4/11
TO 0 3
BLK 2 1
STL 3 1
PF 2 5

03/08/06
Detroit 106
Chicago 101
Wallace Chandler
Minutes 35 32
Points 8 5
FG/A 4/7 2/4
O/Reb 6/11 2/12
TO 1 1
BLK 1 2
STL 4 0
PF 0 3


Averages:

Wallace Chandler
Minutes 32.8 28
Points 8 5
FG/A 3/5.8 2/4
O/Reb 4/9.5 2.8/9.3
TO 1.3 2
BLK 1.5 0.8
STL 2.5 0.3
PF 1 3.8


Here's SI columnist (and usenet alum) Kelly Dwyer's take. I think we can
be forgiven for being more pessimistic, since we heard more "it's all
coming together" lines from Tyson last season alone than we heard in
four years from Jamal Crawford.


Target on Tyson
Kelly Dwyer, SI.com
Updated on Tuesday, Sep 26, 2006 10:34 am EDT

You'd be forgiven for taking issue with the moves the New
Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets put together this offseason. The momentum
behind last season's surprising 20-game improvement was seemingly halted
by a pair of transactions that register more in the bluster scale than
the basketball court.

Adding 29-year old Peja Stojakovic (coming off a pair of sub-par
seasons), and Tyson Chandler (a center his former team seemed desperate
to part with) appear to saddle the Hornets with two players trying to
find themselves ... with each making eight figures a year. Not a good
combination.

But it depends on how you look at it. In Peja, the Hornets may have the
perfect perimeter counterpart for the sublime talents of last year's
Rookie of the Year, Chris Paul. And in Chandler, the Hornets might have
the player who puts them over the hump and into the playoffs after a
two-year absence.

Plus, the cap situation isn't as dire as you might assume in light of
two potentially cap-clogging transactions.

In spite of Paul's presence, the Hornets' playoff chances probably begin
and end with Chandler. The 7-foot center has done it before; he was
easily the most important player on a 2004-05 Chicago Bulls team that
won 47 games, as his ability to overplay shooters while dashing back
towards the front of the rim for a rebound gave that young team a
dominant presence in fourth quarters.

Last summer while waiting for a contract extension from Chicago,
Chandler admittedly took things easy. The result was a pitiful season
that nearly cost Chicago a return trip to the playoffs.

Chandler was out of shape for the first half of the season, and out of
sorts for the duration of the campaign. Spending a summer off the court,
his stamina and court awareness was affected, and he averaged a foul for
every seven minutes he played. His rebounding suffered, his block totals
dipped, and his offense was among the league's worst.

Not only did Tyson average a pitiful 5.3 points in 26.8 minutes per
game, he was an outright liability with the ball in his hands. Tyson
turned the rock over on 21.5 percent of the possessions he participated
in (the second-worst mark in the league, behind Michael Ruffin)[*],
forcing the Bulls to devise ways of scoring while essentially playing
four-on-five basketball.

[*] Jerry Krause, I will urinate on you!


And yet, Chandler hung in there. Though frustrated by his inability to
put it all together, he still managed to play an instrumental part in
Chicago's late-season run to the postseason. All that momentum was
destroyed, however, by a frustrating first-round playoff series against
the Miami Heat -- one that saw Chandler average just 1.8 points, 4.5
rebounds and produce just two blocks in 104 minutes.

So which Chandler have the Hornets acquired? The underrated defensive
star we saw in 2005, or the offensive millstone that spurred Chicago
into trading him for the soon-to-be 37-year old P.J. Brown?

At this point, you have to lean towards the former. Any bit of offseason
conditioning will be an improvement, and according to Hornets GM Jeff
Bower, Tyson has been working out in California and Oklahoma City since
the trade with Chicago.

"He's a young player, continuing with his development, and he has a lot
more potential to be taken advantage of," Bower said. "His opportunities
will come. We also think that playing alongside Chris Paul is going to
help his offense."

But it's the other end of the court where Chandler needs to shine.
"We're looking for his defensive contributions first, some length and
shot blocking, his ability to run the floor in transition," Bower said.

This is key, because with Chandler manning the interior defense and
glass as he did in Chicago, the Hornets can grow into a devastating
running team. Fast-break points were not exactly a big source of the
team's offense last year, and and even when coach Byron Scott had Jason
Kidd at his disposal in New Jersey, the Nets barely cracked the league's
top 10 running teams. But if Scott turns up the tempo, it could nearly
counter the depth and experience of division mates like Dallas and San
Antonio.

More emphasis on the transition game should also benefit Stojakovic and
another former King, backup point man Bobby Jackson. Desmond Mason,
coming off his worst season as a pro and heading into a contract year,
could also be aided by an up-tempo attack -- and he'll reap the benefits
of his first full training camp under Scott's steely gaze.

If trading for Stojakovic seems like a bit of risk, it should be noted
that the Hornets acquired him for the pittance of a trade exception.
Also, if Paul's time in Japan with Team USA is any indication, he's at
his best when locating shooters with pin-point passes. Paul led that
outfit in assists -- and not with the usual batch of alley-oop lobs and
full-court baseball tosses that have dotted previous U.S runs.

Paul was advancing the ball on a delayed break, or finding shooters
peeling off screens -- and it wasn't hard to imagine Peja (with a
quicker release and more accurate touch) easily replacing Carmelo
Anthony as Paul's designated target.

Bower isn't worried about Paul's stamina heading into a second season
and coming off an extended bout of international play. Each Team USA
participant "all played about 20 minutes a game," he noted, "they were
all in one site, and that lessened the travel demands. We'll gauge in
the preseason how he reacts to it all -- but he's a smart young man who
knows the type of energy he needs to perform at."

Still, the onus is on Chandler -- and not the all-world talents like
Stojakovic and Paul -- to put this team over the top. The Hornets were
20th in the NBA in defensive efficiency last season, and if Chandler can
push this team to a mark above the average while also chipping in
offensively, then a playoff berth could be in the offing.

Bower can't help but like what he sees so far. "Tyson is hungry, and
focused, and that's all you can ask for," he said. "He thinks he has
something to prove."

Granville Waiters' Ghost wrote:

[good analysis snipped]


I did not know he started on the usenet. My dream may yet come true!


I wish he would have said more about this. Maybe he means the only
other players worth an extension are Paul and West, so why not throw
the rest of the money away? (Someone please make sure George Shinn is
still alive.)


Clarification: Is the footnote your's or Dwyer's?


If history tells us anything, it's that Chandler does not work out
while he's in LA.


So? Playing alongside Paul would help anyone's offense.


How can you throw an outlet pass when your head is tilted to the
rafters, your eyes closed, your mouth agape in mid yell, and you're
busy beating your chests with both hands to celebrate the rebound you
snatched over Earl Boykins?


So Byron Scott, who couldn't get a fast break going with a healthy
Jason Kidd at the point and Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin filling
the lanes, is gonna be able to do it now...because...why?


Yeah, run the old guys. They'll hold up. What's the alternative?
Setting screens for Stojakovic or driving and dishing to him? Nah.


Gambler's fallacy.


"Steely gaze"? Has Byron Scott ever intimated anyone? Hell, I bet he
couldn't convince my 8 year old to clean up her room. Dwyer surely
intended "deer in headlights" here.


Except Peja won't be out there on the (delayed) break. He'll still be
crumpled over on the defensive end where his man just broke his ankles
(again) or in sitting on the bench unshaven in a fine suit.


Chipping in offensively? Well, he can occassionally set a mean
screen...


You can also ask for some of the food he consumes to stick.


(1) He does.
(2) What else is new?

You know, it's too easy to write a post ripping Chandler. It's almost a
reflex at this point.

In article <1159672722.275651.68450@k70g2000cwa.googlegroups.c om>,
"sv0f" <sashankvarma@yahoo.com> wrote:



Actually, Shinn has always spent money like a spinster that ate the
wrong mushrooms. He'd continually nickle and dime his best players while
overpaying for retards like Derrick Coleman.

In this case, they pretty much gave up on any idea of having a bench,
two of their starters are on rookie contracts (West and Paul) and a
third (Mason) is in the last year of his contract. Trying to replace
Claxton with some combination of Pargo and Bobby Jackson is madness,
madness. They could, if Pargo is hot enough, match his offensive output,
but they don't play the same style of game on offense and if they had
four legs and forty foot wingspans they still wouldn't match him
defensively.

Another bad move was trading Kirk Snyder for... um... whatever the hell
they got for him. When Paul was out, Snyder had some pretty good games.
He rarely shot the ball when Paul and Claxton were playing, though. I
don't expect he'll ever set the world on fire but they don't have one
actual shooting guard left on the roster, and they're insane enough to
believe Peja or Jackson can play there.

(Just looked it up -- a conditional 2nd rounder and "cash". Yes, George
Shinn is alive and kicking...)




Dwyer's often witty, but I don't think SI has broken the Hustler
threshold by allowing free-flying urination. Yet.




As of April, he wanted to spend time in LA since his wife was expecting
their first child. Which was probably the last nail in the coffin for
the organization.

The evolution of Tyson Chandler Excuses was the worst subplot of last
season. It started with Skiles being seemingly prickish about his
conditioning, and Tyson denying it. Then it was his medicine for acid
reflux, then that phantom hernia. Randomly, without any indication as to
why, he put together a string of 10 solid games right in the middle of
the season, which pretty much had no effect whatsoever on the win/loss
record (shades of his early 03, when the Bulls were awful but he
averaged something insane like 15 rebounds/game before his back went
out). Then he sucked again.




Chris Paul can't make him catch the ball. Tyson first needs to be able
to catch. Then defenders will actually start paying attention to him,
which is a whole other story. He got the ball right underneath the
basket *a lot* last season. Actually, I think Bing, wherever he is now,
used to wonder why they even passed to him, even though he was wide
open. Everyone remembers in gym class, having some terrible kid on your
team and when no one covered him, it was just instinct to pass the ball
to the wide open guy.

He'll be just as wide open there, and you can't get the ball in a better
position to score than being one foot away from the basket. Unless it
bounces harmlessly off his hands.

This isn't even taking into consideration his foul problems, which made
it impossible for him to play much more than 27 minutes a game. Hard to
score when you (a) can't catch (b) have no offensive moves and (c) can't
get off the bench.




Byron Scott got a free pass last season. Just about every improvement
the Hornets made can be attributed to a rookie point guard. The more
Scott has to do with imposing his... umm... "ideas" on a team, the worst
they'll be.

Nothing you don't know, I'm sure, but it's just incredible anyone can
not see that the difference between the 04 and 05 Hornets was Chris Paul.




Insane fantasy. "Spreading the floor" in this case means Stojakovic
waving his stubbled arm in the air. Mason can't shoot, never could, and
neither can Bobby Jackson.




Indeed. And it's MEDIA DAY!

Granville Waiters' Ghost wrote:


It's almost cruel you guys aren't cross-posting this to the Hornets
newsgroup. I'm sure Free Movies Forever!!!!!!, Free Safe Sex
Everyday!!!!, and A NEW Amazing Device! would love to hear what they're
gonna be getting. After all, I don't think you deprived the Knicks
group of the impending Eddy Curry Experience last year. And look how
well that worked out!

Spinsters are doing shrooms?


td

Dave wrote:

Sad but true: I thought about cross-posting but couldn't remember the
name of the New Orleans/Oklahoma City team. The Hornets came to mind
first, but I wasn't sure whether Charlotte retained the name to that
storied franchise when Shinn left town (a la the Cleveland Browns).
Also, the first associate that comes to mind when I think "New Orleans"
and "NBA basketball" is Jazz, even though I know that's not right.
Paralyzed by these thoughts and too lazy to Google for the answer, I
refrained.

In article <sn8Ug.5802$o71.5480@newsread3.news.pas.earthlink.n et>,
"td" <decklap@earthlink.net> wrote:



Beware of that bowl of rock candy.